


The corruption begins with the mouth

by I_want_to_hunt_the_Moon



Category: Feverwake - Victoria Lee
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Domestic Bliss except it isn't domestic and also has no bliss, Every day Adalwolf tosses a coin and that's how he decides if he's going to be a good brother today, Fevermadness, Fluff and Angst, Illnesses, Implied Sexual Content, Just two idiot brothers and a doctor, Kissing, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Raphael/ Wolf will be there in the second chapter, mentions of dying, not really but you could read it that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27237688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_want_to_hunt_the_Moon/pseuds/I_want_to_hunt_the_Moon
Summary: Wolf’s little brother had been something to see. A little bird with a mangled face and the ability to cut your throat by talking.
Relationships: Adalwolf Lehrer & Calix Lehrer, Adalwolf Lehrer & Raphael | Benjamin Malley, Adalwolf Lehrer/Raphael | Benjamin Malley
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Raphael

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is. It started out as me analysing what the hell Adalwolf was thinking but then Raphael didn't shut up so I guess I'll do that next chapter
> 
> The corruption begins with the mouth,  
> the tongue, the wanting.  
> The first poem in the world  
> I want to eat.

Wolf’s little brother had been something to see. A little bird with a mangled face and the ability to cut your throat by talking.

Raphael hadn't known what he expected. Adalwolf only talked about him like he was a little kid, in his mind he must have been, he hadn't seen him since he was twelve.

It must have been a shock to find a wraith with his brother's name in the hospital. Raphael didn't think it had quite sunken in yet. Adalwolf had taken to walking into Calix’s room whenever he had free time, he would stand and stare at the delicate figure under the sheets, turning away with a sharp gesture when he noticed Raphael’s presence in the doorway.

Raphael watched Adalwolf as he gently cradled Calix’s bone thin wrist as he shook through a fever, thumb on the feeble pulse. It was odd to see Adalwolf care so much for another human being, to be so devastated at Calix’s glassy eyes and desperate groans. “Come on, you gotta eat something. Bitte, for me.”

Calix didn't react, just tossed and turned in the narrow bed, breath whistling through his teeth as he writhed in pain. His eyes dragged from the ceiling to Wolf’s face. “Papa?” he asked in a small voice.

Adalwolf stiffened, tension braiding itself through his spine and Raphael was sure he was about to snap something but he didn't. Instead he sagged on the chair he had pulled over to the bed. “No, Calix. It’s Adalwolf.”

Calix squinted at him. “‘olf?”

“Yes, not papa, papa is… you don't need to worry about papa anymore.” Raphael carefully averted his eyes, he got the distinct feeling he shouldn’t be witnessing this. “You're okay now, you're safe but you need to eat.”

Calix tried, he really did but despite his efforts he threw up again. “Sorry, sorry,” he rasped while Adalwolf rubbed featherlight circles on his back, mindful of the wounds still resting on his skin.

“Es ist okay. We can try again later. Try to sleep now.” He pressed a kiss on the top of Calix’s head. To Raphael, “Watch him.” He whispered something else to Calix before giving him a pet over his shorn head and walking out of the room. Calix stilled in his bed, curling up in a little ball. 

Raphael gingerly sat down on the chair. “You’ll be alright. You survived four years in the hospital I’m sure this is nothing to you. Not that I’m trying to trivialize this but… We’re making sure you get the best care we have to offer, it might be little in comparison to a normal hospital but we will look after you, okay?”

“He’ll be fine. He’s strong, always has been.” Adalwolf tapped the sheaf of papers he had against his hand in an impatient gesture. “You stole my chair,” he said with narrowed eyes.

Raphael startled. “Oh, I can-”

Adalwolf grinned. “Nah, I’m joking.” He clapped Raphael on the shoulder. “You need to relax, I’m not gonna bite.

“I know but I want to keep my eyebrows.”

Adalwolf laughed, quieting when Calix made a soft noise of protest. “That was one time, I don't know why everyone insists on bringing it up.” He folded his arms and leaned his hips back against the desk. “How long do you think he’s gonna be like this?”

“Hard to say.”

Adalwolf rolled his eyes. “Give me something I can work with, doc.”

Raphael held up his hands. “Could be a week, maybe two.” He frowned. “Longer than that and we need to get worried.”

Adalwolf kicked the wall. “Fuck!” Calix made another tired noises and Raphael could see Wolf reign his anger back in. He walked over to sit down on the side of the bed and gently stroked Calix’s head. “Forgive me.” He frowned down at where Calix had his arms curled around his head and pulled the curtains closed with a lazy flick of his wrist. Raphael couldn't see any change but Wolf seemed satisfied. “He always got migraines if he was tired and didn't wear his glasses. I forgot. How did I forget?”

“I’ll go check on everyone and bring some more food in an hour.” Wolf just nodded in response.

Raphael was right in the end, Calix recovered fast. He’d started to read, and although Adalwolf complained about all the nonsensical, self important bullshit that was apparently in them he looked proud.

“You know, people learn magic through knowledge, maybe if you learned to read you would be good at it,” Calix sniped.

“I don't need to be literate to burn your ass off!” Wolf yelled over his shoulder.

“He’s doing well.”

Adalwolf grinned and something about that made Raphael’s stomach constrict. “He’s doing great, barely changed. What did I tell you? He’s resilient as fuck.”

Calix was. His body healed itself more and more everyday at a slow but steady speed. But it wasn't his body that had Raphael worried. Wolf wouldn't hear it, whenever Raphael brought it up Wolf’s eyes would shine with pride and he would boast about his little brother but when the conversation turned to his mind Wolf’s eyes turned dark and he told Raphael to mind his business. That he wasn't that kind of doctor and that psychological help was out of the cards.

Eventually he would change his stance on that but by then it was too late for both of them.

Raphael had figured out by now that it was difficult to argue with both Lehrers. Calix would lay down his arguments in neat little rows before vivisecting his opponents. Adalwolf was always so full of passion and determination that he would barrel past any complaint, if necessary by sheer force of will and recklessness.

And Raphael was fully aware of the fact that Calix shouldn't be doing any of this but he was useful, so very useful. Wolf’s main argument was that Calix had to fight now so he would have a future. It wasn't good to use him but if they didn't they might all die, maybe Calix would end up in another hospital so there was no other choice.

“After all this he will be fine,” Wolf said, holding his cigarette loosely. “He has his whole life to heal if we win, and if we don't win he won’t have shit. I’m not doing this because I like it, I’m doing this because I have to. He’ll be fine and we are  _ winning _ . I can't throw that away, not even for him.”

Raphael stared at the empty statue wearing Adalwolf’s face.

He won.


	2. Adalwolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael sat down next to him, awkwardly sinking down on the floor. “How would you like to die?”
> 
> Wolf shrugged. “I don't know, never done it before.”

The flames licked between his fingers. Even this small thing cost him effort nowadays. Something he did unthinkingly ever since he was a child was exhausting now. He smiled around his cigarette. “Fucking useless.”

“Wolf.”

His eyes slid over to where Raphael was standing, one hand holding the corner of the wall. “Here to tell me I’m gonna get cancer?”

“No.”

“Good, because I'm not going to live long enough to get it anyway.”

Raphael looked crestfallen. “Don't say that.”

“Come on, we both know it’s true. I won't die in some hospital bed at the age of sixty or whatever. I don't want that anyway.”

Raphael sat down next to him, awkwardly sinking down on the floor. “How would you like to die?”

Wolf shrugged. “I don't know, never done it before.”

Raphael rolled his eyes, a gesture so familiar it made Wolf crack a smile. “Just indulge me. Use your imagination.”

Wolf let his head thunk back against the wall. “Hm. I heard drownings kinda peaceful. But I don't want peaceful, maybe getting shot while assassinating the president on live tv? I think that would be kinda cool. Only if they get my good side though.”

“It would certainly leave an impression.” Raphael still looked shaken but his eyes had lit up in soft humor.

Wolf crossed his legs in a lazy gesture. “I think it will be fire, better than illness at least.”

Raphael raised his eyebrows. “You’re difficult to burn.”

Wolf laughed and spread his hands mockingly. “Everything is possible if you put your mind to it, Raphael,” he said pretentiously. Raphael’s face darkened when he recognized who he was imitating. “What? Don't like my Calix? And here I was thinking I got him down perfectly, damnit.”

Raphael stared resolutely towards the opposite wall. “I don't want to think about him.” 

“Yeah, I get that but I need to ask something of you.”

“What.”

“It’s a lot. A whole lot and it’s selfish but I’m asking you anyway. Act like this is my final wish.”

Raphael closed his eyes and shook his head. “Wolf.”

“You need to look after Calix.”  
  
Raphael’s fingers twisted the fabric of his pants. “No.”

“Yes. He’s not okay and I know that it’s my fault and I should have listened but he’s _good_. Really good. He can get better but he needs help to do that.”

“Wolf, he doesn't want to get better.”

Wolf ignored him and kept on ranting. “Make him want it. He has a therapist now, the fighting will be over so everything he needs to be good will be there. But he needs someone to remind him to keep doing it.” Raphael refused to meet his eyes so Wolf grabbed his face and forced his head up. “Please, I don't know anyone else. You've always helped him. Better than I ever did. Please.” 

Raphael gently pulled his hands away. “He doesn't want to be helped, doesn't think he needs it. We’re the crazy ones in his eyes.”

Wolf blinked furiously. “I used to think that too, all the time. ‘I’m not crazy, the pills make me crazy’ or numb or whatever but I changed my mind so he can too.”

“I think Calix is much more ill than you were. Are. Did you take your meds?”

“Uh.”

Raphael gave him an exasperated look, which meant that he was about to go into a long winding explanation about how there was no deep state conspiracy to medicate the working poor. “Wolf.”

“I know! I know. I just really hate them.”

Raphael laughed and let his head fall back against the stone. He threw up one of his hands. “Maybe there’s an alternative to them. When all this is over, which will be soon if Calix has his way, we can look more into it.”

“You would do that for me?”

Raphael smiled sardonically. “Anything for an old friend.”

Wolf let his shoulder touch Raphael’s. “Just a friend?” he asked carefully.

Raphael whipped towards him, face painted with shock. “You, uhm, what?”

Wolf shrugged. “Was I not forward enough?”

“You told me to never tell a soul,” Raphael whispered. “It was a one time thing. You told me you would burn my face to the bone if I even insinuated-”

“I was scared, and an asshole. I’m sorry.” Wolf gave him a faltering smile. “I really liked it. And you. I just never admitted that to myself.” Wolf hadn't just refused to admit it he had killed the idea. The idea of wanting another man. Of kissing him. He hadn't been kind to Raphael. Hissing threats between kisses, telling him that this didn't mean anything while desperately trying to get his shirt off.

“What’s changed? Oh god, you aren't drunk right?”

Wolf laughed. “No, I’m sober as can be. Nothings changed, don't worry.” _I don't want you to worry, please._ “I just like you. I like that you’re already going gray. And that you always button your shirts wrong on the first try. And that you tied the laces of each your shoes with a different technique for a week for a dumb little experiment and then got in the habit of doing it and never stopped. I like that you always stand up for what you believe is right, that you’re never afraid to stand up to me whenever I’m being a fucking moron. You’re idealistic despite everything, even now with... ” He sighed. “I can’t fucking express emotions you know this. This is stupid.” Dear God he was embarrassing. Why the fuck would he think this was a good idea.

He made to stand up but Raphael pulled him down. “No! No, it’s not stupid. It just,” he faltered and smiled a bit incredulously. “It’s just a lot, coming from someone who said ‘don't be fucking gay’ in response to me complimenting your accent.”

Wolf shrugged. “Well, my previous comments still stand.”

“Your accent gets stronger when you're uncomfortable. Did you know that?” Raphael smiled wider. “Is this the moment where I point out little things about you I like?”

Wolf could feel himself growing red and hated his body for it. “You know I hate compliments.” 

Raphael grabbed his hand, his skin felt cool but that was probably only because Wolf’s was hot. “Well, I like-”

Wolf was moving as soon as the first word left his lips. Pushing himself off the ground and swinging one leg over Raphael’s lap in a fluid motion that he really hoped looked awesome because his joints were screaming their heads off. He ignored them in favor of kissing Raphael senseless. 

Raphael had frozen up in shock, hands still on Wolf’s shoulder from where instinct had kicked in and for a second Wolf thought he had fucked this up too, that he had ruined it the moment he’d shoved Raphael against the wall and threatened him into silence. But then he was cradled close and Raphael melted into his touch. Wolf could feel him smile, which made Wolf smile, which made it difficult to keep kissing but that was alright.

“Hey,” Raphael whispered.

“Hi.” Wolf didn't know why he sounded so fucking nervous. He was good at this with girls. Or he thought he was good at it, Calix always told him he was just imagining things but Calix clearly wasn't very in touch with reality anymore. Must be a family thing. “Raphael-”

“Ben,” Raphael interrupted.

Wolf cocked his head. “You said Ben’s dead.”

“Yeah.” Raphael swallowed roughly. “But I like Ben. Being him was nice. Simple. He was good.”

Wolf smiled. “I don't think any version of you could be bad.”

“You think that about Calix.”

He felt the smile slide from his face. “No, I think any version of him can be saved.”

“You're not doing this to convince me of helping Calix, are you?” Ben asked warily.

“No, I’m doing this because I want to. Me wanting you to help Calix is a separate matter.”

Ben studied him silently. “I wonder if you will think that after the bombs,” he said at last.

Wolf smiled bitterly. “I don't know what happens after the bombs.”

“Hey, please don't.” Ben brought up his hands to cup Wolf’s cheeks, wiping away stray tears with his thumbs. “I’ll try to help Calix. We’ll cure you, get new meds and then we can talk sense into him together.”

“Danke. That sounds nice.”

Ben made a face. “Does it?”

Wolf laughed and brought up his hands to grab Ben’s forearms. “No, but I want to have it all the same.”

“We will.”

Wolf sighed shakily. “I know you don't understand like I do because you didn't see him grow up but he was good. In hindsight very manipulative and calculating but I guess that’s what you get when you have mind control powers.” Not that Wolf had ever been smart enough to come to that conclusion. He had just assumed that Calix was like Mama. With their even gray eyes and complete disregard for anyone they didn't love or need. She had loved them both but most of her smiles had been pretty imitations for someone else’s sake. He didn't know if she would have been a good parent if she had gotten normal children. She had been calculating, cold, and sometimes she would look at Adalwolf with a sympathetic face but bone dry eyes and he would feel… not scared but off balance, maybe because he knew something should be behind her eyes.

She hadn't been broken though, she had been happy, had driven him to every doctor's appointment and painstakingly translated every word on the pill bottles to german so he wouldn't accidentally take something he was allergic to. Calix was like that, he had to be human beneath all the harm that was done to him. “He loves autumn.”

“Wolf-”

“He likes the colors and the leaves. When we were little I would crouch down with my back turned to him so he could sneak up to me and dump them on my head. He would run away and I would chase him and then catch him and he would be screaming with laughter. He liked to read and every time he didn't understand a word he would wait on the stairs for my father to come home and then he would ask him the meaning. He was obsessed with laying all his pencils in the right order. He was good. That means he can be good again.”

“I don't think that’s how it works.”

“How do you know if you haven't tried?”

Ben sighed, but he didn't disagree. “We’ll see.”

“I need you to promise me something else.”

Ben gave him an amused look. “What?”

“Don't blame yourself.” Wolf smiled shakily. “For any of this. It’s my fault. And you couldn't have known.”

Ben frowned confused. “Known what?” 

Wolf shook his head. His hands were shaking. “Just kiss me again.” Ben did. He only stopped to gently lead Wolf to his home. He hadn't let go of his hand but that didn't matter because Wolf would be dead in less than two days, so nothing really mattered except Calix and what he would become and Ben and if he would survive. Still, his heart leaped in his throat.

Eventually Wolf regretfully pulled away from him.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked.

“Nothing. I just have to go. Prepare everything for the attack.”

“Now?”

Wolf grinned. “Yes, sorry. It’s a lot of bombs I’m afraid. And I have to write a letter. I want to do it right. You know I’m bad at spelling things in english.”

Ben caught his hand. “I can revise it for you.”

Wolf laughed and bent down to kiss him again. “You’re sweet but I have to do this on my own. I will probably see you again but if not, Auf Wiedersehen.” 

“You know I don't know any german. Does it mean see you soon?”

Wolf smiled. “Sort of.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Auf Wiedersehen means farewell.
> 
> I have a head canon that the Lehrer mom wasn't entirely right either. Not a psychopath but definitely someone with very little empathy. I know psychopathy is not entirely genetic but I like the thought of Adalwolf and Calix not realising Calix is wrong because their mother was similar.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so tired.
> 
> Anyway kudos or comments are appreciated.
> 
> This was fun because it’s different from what I normally write I hope it turned out okay. I just really like Wolf okay


End file.
